Finally working!
Audi Connect transferred me to my local dealer. They reset the settings, which they admitted didn't appear to make any difference. Its booked in for a whole firmware update. I think its 1 version behind.
Anyway. Today, it starts to actually download the map update, installs it and its the latest for my region.
My suspicion is that updating the whole map and the polling looking for an update is a bit wonky, fingers crossed, now it has actually updated that i won't get the error every week that it polls for another region update.
So, what is the solution?
Firstly, contact Audi Connect - they do try hard. Let them give you a "TPI" and refer you to the local Audi Dealer. No charge to reset/diagnostics, upgrade. and they give you a free car wash.
Unfortunately, other than its now working. Its not transparent as to what really was the solution. So all i can post is my journey/experience/steps for anyone with a similar issue.